In at number six...
We’ve all seen those lists of ‘the batsman I would want to bat for my life,’ but what about those ‘batsmen I’d least want to bat for my life’…
This is what we reckon constitutes cricket’s definitive kick-the-bucket list.
OUR TOP TEN GUARANTEED TOES-UP TURNERS
NO. 10 – ANDRE FLETCHER (WEST INDIES)
Never mind a reprieve – AF is so loose at the top of the order you probably won’t even get time for last cigarette…
NO. 9 – DAVID GOWER (ENGLAND)
Just as someone uses the phrase ‘isn’t he batting beautifully today’ – feel the trapdoor open and the floor start readying itself to move from under you.
NO.8 – ANDREW HILDITCH (AUSTRALIA)
Bouncer. Swing. Out.
NO.7 - MARK VERMEULEN (ZIMBABWE)
‘Are you looking at me, dead man?’
NO.6 – HERSCHELLE GIBBS (SOUTH AFRICA)
Fear not, your inevitable and impending death will come complete with a bespoke memorial tattoo…
NO.5 - ANDREW SYMONDS (AUSTRALIA)
Would be voted Mr Reliable only in a world where Fred West wins Builder of the Year…
NO.4 – PHILO (PASTRY) WALLACE (WEST INDIES 1997-99)
No opening batsman has hit the ball… higher.
NO. 3 - KEVIN PIETERSEN (ENGLAND)
Obviously, it would be a different story if the audience was bigger.
NO 2 – YUVRAJ SINGH (INDIA)
Just the man for a crisis. Arf.
AND THE NUMBER ONE IS…
NO. 1 - SHAHID AFRIDI (PAKISTAN)
Would get out there and immediately forget he was batting for your life.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Twatto I think – he’d save you and you would be so ASHAMED that you owed your life to him
Who the devil is ‘Twatto’, when he’s at home?
I believe Ceci is referring to the one they call ‘Shane Watson’. My own personal addition to this would probably be Graeme Hick – eek.